Take responsibility and ownership of your own development and treat it as the priority it is.

Personal and professional development

Here we focus on how we can develop self-confidence – the competency-based kind. Not the delusional form that manifests itself as egotistical bluster, belligerence and arrogance.

How can we learn self-confidence?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines self-confidence as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgement.

This can be a fleeting and sometimes elusive trait that we admire in others and struggle to find in ourselves. However, based on over 35 years of leading sales teams and consulting on sales transformation, self-confidence is often an outward show or, at worst, delusional. Our own confidence can also become fragile when we compare ourselves to others.

This quote from an anonymous source captures the paradox well:

“Do not compare yourself unfavourably with others, for you are comparing your inside with their outside – your inner feelings with their outward show.”

While self-confidence can appear to be a gift, it is contextual and largely the result of intentional self-development.

Confidence in context

Confidence must be understood within context and scope. A black belt in karate may be confident on the mat, but unlikely to feel the same confidence on the first tee if they have never swung a golf club.

Self-confidence can be broken down into several constituent parts.

Growth mindset

Adopt a growth mindset in the area you want to develop confidence in. Whatever your starting point, improvement is possible. We are not defined solely by what we were born with.

Faith in a best-practice process

Identify the activities that, if you invested time, skill and knowledge in them, would give success the best chance of being a natural outcome.

Self-development

If you want to grow confidence in a particular field and have identified the process that drives success, the next step is developing the skills and knowledge required to master that process. Once identified, block time in your schedule to learn and deliberately practise them.

Deliberate practice

To learn any new skill or gain expertise, practice is essential.

Research shows that the quality of practice is just as important as the quantity. Expert-level performance is primarily the result of expert-level practice, rather than innate talent alone.

Grit and persistence

Grit and persistence can be defined over time as courage, resolve and strength of character.

Improving performance requires accepting mistakes and recognising that outcomes will not always go to plan.

Learned optimism

Learned optimism was introduced by Martin Seligman in his book Learned Optimism.

His theory suggests that learned optimism can be developed through what he calls explanatory styles.

The three P’s below provide a useful framework for examining and challenging emotions when setbacks occur, helping counter the immediate negative narratives our minds create.

  • Personal: “It’s all on me – this happened on my watch.”
  • Permanent: “It’s always going to be like this.”
  • Pervasive: Negative thoughts spill over into other areas of life.

Building confidence

Competency-based self-confidence can be developed, but it requires desire and personal commitment. If improved confidence is something you are working towards, the online Mindset Development Group programme can support you in building reliable confidence to thrive in life’s challenges.